Ramblings of a Lonely Heart
Have been wanting to dissect the concept of love for a while now and X-Men 3 - The Last Stand has provided the necessary impetus at last.
Rogue gives up her power in the end to be with her boyfriend Iceman. Needless to say that I found that ridiculous. Oh! How much I wish I didn't!
Being totally oblivious of the 'things they do for love' and 'the way it makes 'em feel', I would give anything to be not judgmental but guess its more like Sophie's choice.
A friend and an acquaintance recently reiterated their respective reservations of carrying forth their ambition, that of going to reputed universities abroad, as that meant making difficult decisions in their personal life (read leaving behind their 'loved ones').
I was aghast to say the least but then again, what would I know about having that one person 'that makes it all complete.' I am of the opinion that the agony, confusion and frustration brought on by do having 'that special someone' should be avoided for as long as possible. Let's all do or rather become something in life first before making such life-altering, heart-wrenching decisions. In fact was delighted to read the article titled 'Madly in Love' in the National Geographic magazine that drew a parallel between the brain's activity when in love and when suffering from OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), thereby scientifically proving that we can actually be 'madly in love' literally with the hormone serotonin playing a major role.
A big part of me thinks all that I have written thus far is CRAP but unfortunately that's not the innate part of me.
I conclude by writing some of the lines from a few favourite songs.
Rogue gives up her power in the end to be with her boyfriend Iceman. Needless to say that I found that ridiculous. Oh! How much I wish I didn't!
Being totally oblivious of the 'things they do for love' and 'the way it makes 'em feel', I would give anything to be not judgmental but guess its more like Sophie's choice.
A friend and an acquaintance recently reiterated their respective reservations of carrying forth their ambition, that of going to reputed universities abroad, as that meant making difficult decisions in their personal life (read leaving behind their 'loved ones').
I was aghast to say the least but then again, what would I know about having that one person 'that makes it all complete.' I am of the opinion that the agony, confusion and frustration brought on by do having 'that special someone' should be avoided for as long as possible. Let's all do or rather become something in life first before making such life-altering, heart-wrenching decisions. In fact was delighted to read the article titled 'Madly in Love' in the National Geographic magazine that drew a parallel between the brain's activity when in love and when suffering from OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), thereby scientifically proving that we can actually be 'madly in love' literally with the hormone serotonin playing a major role.
A big part of me thinks all that I have written thus far is CRAP but unfortunately that's not the innate part of me.
I conclude by writing some of the lines from a few favourite songs.
...You know I'm such a fool for you.. but do you have to let it LINGER..
... Then I open up and see the person fumbling here is me... Now I tell you openly,You have my heart so don’t hurt me for what I couldn’t find...
...I'm one of the chosen few who went ahead and fell for you.. maybe you might have, some advice to give on how to be INSENSITIVE..
posted by optimism at 9:36 PM
3 Comments:
I can relate to what you ar esaying because I seem to think the exact same way... how can one sacrifice THEIR ambitions.. for anything !
I understand your point of view. But does there always have to be a choice? Can't there be an acknowledgement of the fact that "a person" and your ambitions are both important and due consideration will be given to any/both of them depending on what your priorities are?
Or maybe I am being too simplistic?
FACE IN THE CROWD
DEWAKAR A MULTI-FACETED PERSONALITY
As a human being one could have so many facet in life for action and reality I could not believe unless I met a man like Dewakar. A poet, writer, author, singer, professor, advocate, management expert and ofcourse a senior executive in government sector and on personal front a son, father, brother, husband and above all a ‘Behtareen Insaan’.
Dewakar since his childhood, was a good orator and writer. He started writing at the age of twelve. Academic front proved him as a brilliant student with board scholarships and Bishop’s medal, he had been a university scholar by setting records. Sports was really a weak area for him, since he could play only table tennis, badminton and chess.
Having done his bachelor degree in science, he went for law graduation, followed by specialization in Labour laws from Indian Law Institute. He never rest himself after obtaining masters in business administration MBA and did further specialization by acquiring post graduate diploma in Personnel Management and Industrial Relations. Also diploma in training and development from ISTD. He researched on various management problems and currently doing his Ph.D.
Dewakar worked in the private sector for about seven years at Delhi as personnel officer. During this time, he was selected as commissioned officer with Indian Navy through SSB, Bangalore Board, in 1982. He was an Advocate also with Delhi high court. But all this was not for him, he went for all India competitions and secured top position for selection in International Airports Authority of India. Over a span of 20 years, at Delhi, Bombay and Kolkata Airports, he acted as a crusader against corruption but still climbed in the ladder of hierarchy holding position of Jt. General Manager since last around five years and presently posted at National Institute of Aviation Management and Research at New Delhi with strong determination to follow the path of honesty come what may in all times to come.
Let us come to the literary part of Dewakar. All small and big story writing continued unless he realized that it was time consuming, hampering science studies. But it was like a hunger, so he moved to writing poems. It was all right to make a dairy for all these things. Lateron when he came in close contact with Kaifi Azmi, Javed Akhtar and Shabana Azmi, they compelled him to release that diary in the form of poetry book, that is how his first poetry book “Sisaktey Armaan” was released on 19th May, 1998 by the Minister, Pramod Navalkar and Shabana Azmi at Mantralaya Bombay. The people like Naushad, Nida Fazli, Gulzar, Ali Sadar Jefrey, Sabir Dutt, Deepti Naval, Salma Saddhiqui, Parvati Khan, Anuradha Patel, Kavaljeet, Kavita Krishnamoorthy, Nandita Das, Gautam Ghosh, Usha Ganguli, Dolly Basu, Sreelekha Mitra and Sunil Gangopadhyay appreciated his work.
It was really as a matter of surprise as to why his stories could remain in dark, the literary circle of Calcutta made him as an active member for their meetings. His story collections "Girti Deewaron Ke Beech" was released on 8th February, 2001 at Kolkata Book Fair by Javed Akhtar. It so happened that for his shairee, which comprised mostly Urdu words could not remain in Hindi and Urdu edition of “Sisaktey Armaan” was released on 3rd February, 2001 by the minister Mohd Amin in Milan Mela at Calcutta.
Contd………….2
Page 2 of 3
This poet and writer was feeling restless to come out with something as an off shoot of his academics and professional skills so we could see him as guest faculty of Narsee Monjee Institute of Management Studies, Mumbai, IIT Delhi and Kharagpur, XLRI Jamshedpur and also examiner for MBA courses of IGNOU. He further exploited his expertise by authoring reference book on “Departmental Enquiries”, published by Jaico which was released in February,2000 World Book Fair at New Delhi.
Dewakar's articles on various topics were read in Times of India, Indian Express and The Statesman. His interviews, profile & articles are being published in Asian Age, Times of India, Hindustan Times, Sunday Observer, Outlook and also in Hindi Newspapers Jansatta, Sanmarg, Prabhat Khabar, Viswamitra & Chhapte Chhapte etc.. So far his poems have been published in over 100 little magazines from different parts of the country. He also acted as chief speaker for Rotary, Lion’s clubs and also on star plus for their TV programmes as an expert. You may recall him when he came in Kiran Juneja show on Star Plus, ETV Hello India show also on Doordarshan and Taaza Khabar time and again.
On professional front, he is HRD expert on the panel of International Civil Aviation Organization (ICAO) Montreal, Life Member of All India Management Association, corporate member of National Institute of Personnel Management, and Delhi Management Association. His popularity made him the President of IAAI officers’ association, and also Managing Committee Member of Kendriya Vidyalaya and Calcutta Airport English High School above all as Member of Kalakar Films Award Committee.
Religion is also not far away from him since he is life member of International Society for Krishna Consciousness (ISKCON). Not only Hinduism, which he acquired by birth, he is a Christian when he visits infant Jesus’ church at Nasik and Mahim church for novena at Bombay, a Muslim when he visits Ajmer Sharif dargaha and ofcourse a Sikh in golden temple at Amritsar. Hinduism took him to Badrinath, Tirupati Balaji, Rameshwaram, Kashi Viswanath, Jagannath Puri and so on in India.
For music Dewakar came in close contact with Kavita Krishnamurty, and Parvati Khan, the result made him a singer, he recorded the cassette in studio with live music. Even his poetic collection came in the form of audio-cassette when he recited jointly with a commissioner friend Kavita Gupta. Why the acting should be left? Dewakar remembers his school days when he played roles in skits, sometimes in Shakespeare plays.
Here is Dewakar as a human being. His most important role is that of a friend. He says if friendship can be considered as a property, then he has earned it. His friend circle consists of actors, actress, bureaucrats, advocates, parliamentarians, judges, ministers, poets, writers, students, doctors, engineers also Justices of High Courts and for that matter men from all walks of life. Probably this kind of multiple friend circle has made him a good author, poet, and article writer. Sometimes he acts a counsellor for solving the problems of others, leaving his own problems for self.
Contd………….3
Page 3 of 3
Today you are seeing Dewakar in Delhi as a man of 47 years of age with his Advocate wife Sangeeta and two bright children, a sentimental son Kartikeya and straight-forward daughter Sharmistha. His articles, one way touches the topic of smoking, beauty, naming of places, Calcutta culture and on the other side, he debates on the hot issue of kissing. Naturally Dewakar must have inherited some talents. His grandfather, Rai Bahadur Capt.Dr. Kedar Nath Goel was the first Indian Civil Surgeon, who was great poet and writer too. His father a senior police officer was well-read man, who was too much into literature and shairee in particular. His real maternal uncle Air Marshal S.N. Goyal is an internationally known figure who has authored number of books on Aviation, Yoga, Philosophy and video albums on art of living and age reversal process etc..
His books might have not been rewarded so far, but Dewakar as a poet has been titled by eminent people. Kaifi Azmi called him “ ek khusfikr shaiyer ” ( a poet who remains happy with anxiety). The famed lyrisist, Javed Akhtar named Dewakar as ‘Dard Ka Soudagar’ (merchant of pain). The legend musician, Naushad Ali called him as Khudadad salahiyat ka shaiyer ( a poet with inborn qualities). The story writer, Salma Saddiqui titled him as Khoye Huye Soye Huye Lamhon Ka shaiyer ( the poet of lost and sleeping moments ). Ghazal writer Sabir Dutt called Dewakar as Fhikro Jajbey Ka Shaiyer (the poet who takes the sentiments with anxiety) and noted lyricist Nida Fazli valued him as Bashaur Jahain Ka Shaiyer (a poet with mannered heart).
His book in the form of poetry collection “Mere Bachpan Ka Chand” was released on 17th December, 2002 by Shabana Azmi at Nandan Complex, Kolkata. The function was graced by renowned Bangla writer Sunil Gangopadhayay when Minister Md. Amin and Md. Salim were also present. This book was liked by the people so much that it was published in Bengali language by Saptarishi Prakashan with the title “Amar Saisaber Chand” translated by Syed Hasmat Jalal which was released on 6th February, 2004 at Calcutta Book Fair by Minister Md. Salim in the presence of poets like Nabarun Bhattacharja and Mandakranta Sen. For the poems in Bengali the appreciation came in the form of honour by “Krittibas” the most famous Bengali magazine. “Mere Hissey Ka Suraj” the latest poetry collection of Dewakar was released by Shri Viren J. Shah Hon’ble Governor of West Bengal at Raj Bhawan on 3rd August,2004. Dewakar discussed stress profession wise in his book titled “Living a Stressful life with joy” published by UBS which was released by Shabana Azmi on 22nd March, 2005 at Crossword Kolkata. The book release function was followed by panel discussions with industrialist Harsh Neotia, critic Rita Bhimani, Member of Parliament Sujata Roy and the author. His latest book “Appraising Performance with a difference” is ready for publication.
Where are you? Don’t you want to know this man? A man with multi-facet personality. What is his aim? Being a scorpion born on 14th November, he wants to have minimum fourteen professional books and hundred story & poetry books after his name by the time he attains the age of 60. Well today he is having only nine books to his credit.
So, if you want to know more about Dewakar, e-mail dewakargoel@hotmail.com or phone 011-2507-1324, 25652642, 9868887070. Visit http://dewakar.tz4.com.
Interviewed by Sujata Mondal
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