Differential

I don't remember much of what I learnt about cars while doing mechanical engineering but I do remember a structure called a differential which was instrumental in turning as it allowed the outer wheels to rotate faster than the inner wheels as the former had to cover a greater distance. I remember being fascinated with this particular gear assembly as it allowed the wheels to be quite independent yet working together. My limited knowledge on this subject, mind you, does not allow me to write any further on the mechanics of it but what I now find fascinating is the differential in our behaviour which I observed recently while travelling to Amritsar. Having boarded the train, a female foreigner with her daughter was making her way to her seat while from the other direction came charging a gentleman (most likely a pandit)in a dhoti and ponytail. The foreigner found it so absurd that he didn't give her way but was seemingly in a hurry to grab his seat and completely ignored her presence in the way. Vociferously did she try to tell the gentleman that hey! look we are both travelling in the same train, but by that time, the gentleman was already seated in his seat. My immediate reaction on witnessing this was to tell the foreigner that hey! don't expect anything otherwise. Not intending to demean that gentleman in any way but I feel that most of us (read Indians) would not wait and give way to the other person in such situations. I wouldn't say that we as a community are basically discourteous but let's just say that we are just not too chivalrous! That's just the way we are and it is nothing to be ashamed about. I had not seen the last of this differential in the train though. Behind us was an NRI couple with a young kid, almost as old as my elder one, whose presence was not felt at all during the journey, so disciplined was he. In stark contrast were my two boys, excited as hell and a two-year old boy travelling with his mom, also sitting behing us. The NRI grandmother, reading a religious book for most part of the journey, was the first to lose her cool and say something to the mother and my husband. Their common reply was that they are kids and it is difficult to restrain them. I thought of the differential again as there were other elderly people around too who, in fact, would smile and pat my elder son if he came near them while the younger one's endearing antics invited attention cutting across age groups. This is not to condone their behaviour walking around in the train and talking but as a mother, I found a little bit of it acceptable by any standards. So as we were about to reach our destination late in the night, the NRI kid dutifully slept off while my kids were up way past their bed time. When my elder son came running towards me and spoke a bit loudly, I immediately asked him to talk softly as a kid was sleeping. No sooner had I done this that the NRI father approached me and said that hey! look my son is sleeping. Could you please tell your son not to blah blah blah...". I said to him, "I just did. I just did!" somewhat mockingly, to which he said something and I said, "I am trying, I am trying". He went off mumbling under his breath that maybe I should try harder. Boy! Was I furious especially after I saw that the other lady went out of the boggie to sit near the toilet with her kid! I felt like telling him that hey! you are in a public place and you cannot control other peoples' behaviour. If you wanted to pray and sleep peacefully while travelling, then maybe you should have chartered the whole train or an aircraft. However, knowing that my kid's behaviour was wrong, I kept quiet. The question arises, for discipling kids, should one look towards the west? Recently, my cousin came back from the US after six months and had harrowing tales to tell about how Indians were raising their kids there. A mother letting her new-born cry incessantly upstais while she chatted with her friend (as the doctor told her not to comfort the kid who eventually, gave up and slept off); a father flying to India with his son only to beat the crap out of him at the airport and then catching the next flight back home (as hitting kids or fighting publicly is a big NO with authorities intervening immediately in such situations); a father being picked up from office and deported immediately after a complaint from his son (and losing everything he built after years of hardwork). Gosh! How I prefer the Indian style of pampering any day.